12.23.2004
|8:44 pm|
I think the world will be better without my existence
My presence only bring pain and unhappiness to others
I don't mind being a clown but if I am a clown that didn't smile
I don't deserve to be one
I don't expect everyone to be nice to me but at least let me know that I am being part of it
Seeing so many suicide cases I just wonder why they did that
Cos they feel that their presence is not needed?
Or they feel that it is to relieve their own pain
When people say everyone has 2 sides like a coin
I agree but people don't look at both sides
They only believe what they see and what they assume
Assumption can kill, a word that may seem insignificant to you may hurt another person greatly
How i wish people can get closer to me and know me better and not just think that I am just someone who allows you to take adavantage of
My fren told me everyone has their ups and downs and a person cannot be always having their downs
I believe i am still sliding to a bottomless pit, maybe the downfall is just the beginning
Sometimes I just do not wish to face reality cos it is harsh
I tried my best but so what, the world is just too realistic
I am afraid of getting back to square one
You may say my ego is too high but this is the only way I can do to hide my disappointment
When you like someone, people always say tell him/her you like him/her, don't be afraid to get rejected but how many times can you say that? And how many times can you take the word rejected and try again
Loving someone is painful, why am I always the one to like someone and not the other way round
I am too tired of it
Call it phobia, sometimes when people envy you and call you bachelor, I call it phobia
the phobia of loving someone again cos you know if you get rejected again, your confidence will be dashed
Why must a person splash cold water on you when you are caught in the rain
Why a person must dash your hope when you are trying to work your way up again
Can't they just give you that bit of confidence, like a car may need petrol to work
A person need to have confidence
Maybe that person is me
Maybe I should not exist for 2004
Maybe I should go
Maybe...
[S]he [w]aited``
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